Need a funny method to put your buddies in their place? One that communicates effectively without being overly harsh or mean? You’re lucky since we’ve compiled a list of 50+ funny insults to roast everyone in your life below.
These lists are certain to make you chuckle and a definite way to humble anyone who goes a bit too far out of line. Of course, we don’t want to ruin any friendships here, so use these roasts in good spirits only.
The advantages of Using Creative and Funny Insults.
Throwing an insult may not sound amusing, but it’s all in the delivery. And don’t worry about your intention being lost in translation. According to The Smithsonian, a large portion of human speech is coded in sarcasm, which we begin to notice as early as age five.
The fundamental advantage of using insults or roasts is that they allow us to express some facts more gently. Consider a parent referring to their child’s untidy room as a “pig sty” or using another comically obvious exaggeration. Parents are not the only ones who use this type of comedy to convey messages or requests.
Funny insults come in handy with friends, spouses, and even—on occasion—at work. We’ve included some resources that you might find useful. With any luck, you’ll find the appropriate words for your predicament.
Funny Insults That Aren’t That Mean
- “I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you.”
- “Your mouth should be as silent as the ‘P’ in psychology.”
- “Calling you is a waste of time.”
- “I’d like to see things from your point of view but I can’t seem to bury my head that deep in the sand.”
- “I’m still deciding whether you’re the weakest link or the missing link.
- “Talking to you is like stepping on a leaf in autumn and not hearing a crunch.”
- “You look good today.” “You deserve a cookie.”
- “Your thoughts should be flushed.”
- “You deserve to be loved from a distance.”
- “Remember, empty barrels make the loudest noise.”
- “You remind me of a Monday morning.”
- “Please shut your mouth when talking to me.”
- “Sir, you’re an oxygen thief.”
- “You’re so fake, Barbie is jealous.”
- “I feel bad for your significant other. “They really have their hands full.”
- “You have the fashion sense of a rainbow-colored banana.”
- “Silence is the best answer for a fool.”
- “The last time I saw something like you, I flushed it.”
- “You do realize that we’re just tolerating you, right?”
- “Your mother should have swallowed you.”
- “If we continue talking to each other, I might end up dead.”
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Funny Insults for Friends
- “There are a million words in the English language, and there’s no such way to combine them to describe how much I want to beat you with a chair.”
- “You are the only friend in our group who’s going to hell.”
- “I know I make stupid choices, but you’re the worst one of all.”
- “The salt on this food is enough to kill an earthworm.”
- “They say opposites attract, so I hope you meet someone good-looking, intelligent, and cultured.”
- “Even if you married, you’d still be single.”
- “Your kids need to be returned to where they came from.”
- “I’m only friends with you for the drama.”
- “You’d fail a personality test.”
- “I didn’t pick up when you called because I’m ignoring you.”
- “In what way are your parents related to each other?”
- “Your skincare routine shouldn’t smell like a graveyard.”
- “You’re proof that the gene pool needs lifeguards.”
- “The good books say to make good friends, but I think I made a mistake.”
- “You are every bit as annoying as a crying baby on a plane.”
- “I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.”
- “Some babies were dropped on their heads but you were thrown at a wall.”
- “Your family tree must be a cactus because everybody on it is a prick.”
- “You must have been born on a highway because that’s where most accidents happen.”
- “When the sanitation worker stopped by, he forgot to take you out with the rest of the trash.”
- “Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.”
- “These headaches left immediately once I got away from you.”
Savage Insults Words
- Blatherskite: Someone who speaks frequently and in length but has little content.
- Cockalorum: Someone who is arrogant or self-centered.
- Cumberworld: Something or someone that is deemed useless; a burden on the world.
- Fopdoodle is a foolish, basic person.
- Lickspittle: Someone who kisses up to persons in positions of power to get an advantage.
- Milksop: A cowardly individual unable to make a decision.
- Mooncalf: A dumb or absent-minded person.
- Mumpsimus: A person who adheres to outmoded or illogical norms.
- Ninnyhammer: An idiot or a simpleton.
- Pillock: An ignorant or foolish person.
- Smellfungus: Someone who constantly criticizes or finds flaws in something.
- Snollygoster: Someone shrewd or unethical.
